Checking Things Off The List

I have a pretty extensive To-Do list that I've been avoiding for the past few weeks.  It happens.  I've been so wrapped up on surviving that I put things off.  After a wonderful talk with Rudy, I decided that it's time to start living my life and putting the rest of it into prospective.  And so I jumped on  my To-Do list with a vengeance, and even managed to tackle a major goal on my bucket list.

I had a minor freak out this past weekend.  It was to be expected.  I had a lot of things on my plate that weekend.  I didn't communicate that well at all.  I told Rudy that I was struggling, but I never took the time to explain why.  I just figured he'd get it and give me some breathing room to figure it out.  Naturally that didn't happen because he had a completely different take on what was going on.  So he pushed thinking that I was just being weird about coming to visit him.  And I pushed back because that's what I do.  And he pushed some more.  And I snapped.  I don't think he's had an "Oh Shit" moment like that in a long time.  It wasn't his fault at all, nor was it my fault.  If I had communicated better, he would have backed way off and provided support a long time ago.  Slap me on the wrist.  It's a live and learn kind of thing.

Because I'm an adoptee, I didn't trust that Rudy really wasn't mad at me.  Seriously, I thought he was just covering up that he was mad because he didn't want me to start sobbing hysterically again.  It happens.  So last night we talked about it.  And boy do I feel a lot better.  He told me that yes, he was mad at first.  He didn't get why I wasn't coming to visit him and why I wasn't doing him a favor that he thought was a small one.  He didn't realize I was as stressed out as I am.  I show my stress in different ways, but he isn't here with me to see those signs.  He only has our phone conversations and I'm not always great at telling him about stuff that stresses me out.  So he didn't see the signs.  He didn't realize I was that close to the edge.  Once he realized that, he took a step back and realized that it wasn't worth it.  He wasn't mad when he realized that I had a really good reason for not wanting to drive to Connecticut for the weekend.  And I was willing to meet him halfway on Sunday for dinner.  So I still got to see him, I was less stressed out, and I will deal with the stresses in Connecticut at a later date when I don't have so much on my plate.  And Rudy also agreed to read Lost and Found by BJ Lifton.  How amazing is that?

I booked our hotel and flight to Chicago for the Adoptee Rights Protest.  I can't wait!  It will cross on my goal to visit one place that I've never been this year.  I can't wait to see Chicago and I'm always up for a weekend away with my amazing boyfriend.  Plus I'll get to meet a lot of the bloggers and adoptees that I've met online who have seriously helped me the past year.  I've been meaning to get on booking the flights and hotel, but I just hadn't gotten around to it.  A part of me was scared.  I decided today that I was done being scared and booked it.  I'll be there with bells and whistles on.

I was sort of ridding off that high when something came up on Groupon.  I'm now self-banned from that site.  I'm going to learn how to fly a plane.  It's on my bucket list.  I've always wanted to learn and there was a deal that I just couldn't pass up.  It's a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can do it!  I'm tired of living life scared.  I'm going to do something that I've always wanted to do.  I'm going to go up in a plane with a FAA-certified instructor and learn the basics.  I can't wait!

I was in the middle of putting together all my emails with my first mother so I could send away for a printed book (like I did with my first father) when my reunion with him ended very quickly.  I put it all away for the time being because it was too painful to deal with.  Now that I'm meeting her, I feel like I ended things in a good place via email.  I finished putting together the first two years of emails from the two of us (February 2010 through February 2012) and I've ordered the book.  I can check that off my list too.  Score!

No matter what happens with my reunion on Monday, I've got plenty in my life to look forward to.  I'll be learning how to fly and fulfilling my life long dream of flying a plane (even if there's a guy next to me who's really in control and it's for ten minutes...).  I'll be going on an amazing vacation to Disney with my boyfriend and we're going to ride all the scary rides together and have a blast.  I'll be headed to Chicago, a city I've always wanted to visit, to meet up with some amazing people to fight for an amazing cause!  And you know what?  I can't wait!

Exercise Update

If you squint, this is a treadmill

I've been keeping up with my exercising and boy does it feel good!  When I started my ten week program, I felt like I was going to give it my all, but probably wouldn't manage to make it through the whole thing.  When I was honest with myself, I didn't think I was going to make it past Week 2.  I pushed through, made adjustments, and powered on.

The first few weeks were brutal.  I barely made it through my workouts.  I felt discouraged but tried to think about my goals.  I was determined not to give up.  I had told my parents, friends, and Rudy about my goal.  I posted about it here.  I didn't want to feel like a failure or let anyone down.  So I pushed on.  Around Week 4 my lungs stopped burning.  I stopped paying such strict attention to the clock.  I started to see some major benefits.

Not only did I feel stronger, but I was noticing a major difference.  Others were too and I started getting comments from those who knew what to look for.  My dancing was stronger.  My legs started to plump up.  I was handling stairs much easier.  And I started to feel better mentally too.  I started to have a better attitude, and it was something I noticed a lot.  It started to get easier to relax.  I wasn't as depressed as I had been.  Things started to fall into place.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped counting week numbers.  I have to look it up to see which week I'm on to know how long to run for.  Every week I do another set of intervals until I can run for 20 minutes straight.  I just finished Week 7 out of 10.  I'm getting there, even if I did have to add an extra week (so it's like I'm on Week 8 of 11).

I took a few days off because I didn't feel so great last week.  I had to do all my running back to back three days in a row instead of spreading it out.  I was really nervous about it because I had taken so many days off and it was a considerable jump in how long I was running (which for me is really jogging) verses how much I was walking.  I was nervous.  But I needed to run.  I was so wound up from not running for days that I felt like if I didn't run, I was going to lose my mind.  And I got on the treadmill and started.  I kept going and before I knew it, I was done.  I felt like I could have easily kept going, but I knew to stop so that I wouldn't hurt myself and I'd be alright to run the next night.  It felt great!

Before what had seemed like a crazy goal is now slowly coming into focus as a lifestyle.  It's not just something that I'm doing to prove a point, but rather something that I can do for me.  The more I run, the better I'm getting at recovering afterward.  I used to run and feel like I couldn't do anything for a long time afterward because my legs were so tired.  The other night I ran and then cleaned my entire room (which hadn't been really cleaned in weeks).  Tonight my plan is to run and go through some paperwork I've been avoiding.  I'm trying to accomplish one extra thing after I run so we'll see how that goes.  Maybe I'll start to feel more productive.

I'm taking advantage of the extra energy I have from the nerves and excitement of meeting my first mother.  If I have extra energy from this, then I'm going to use it to benefit me.  I'm not going to let it ruin my life for the next week or so.  I feel like that happened a bit before I met my first father.  I feel like I lost that time.  I'm determined not to let that happen again.  I'm going to be healthy about it this time.  And after I meet her, well, then I'll figure the rest of this stuff out.  I'll save that for after my face to face reunion with her.  Until then, I'll be running and thinking about when I'm going to run my 5K.  I'm getting closer and now I can actually feel in my heart that I can do it!  Wish me luck!

Happy With My Goals

I'm really happy that I've outlined those goals for myself.  After seeing them on my blog yesterday, I realized that having a road map for myself is actually making my life a lot easier these days.  Every month I have a set of tasks that I want to get accomplished.  When I look at that list, I remember to pick up a book and get reading, which lowers my stress and makes me happier.  I keep exercising because it feels so good to check that off the list at the end of the month.  I've been trying to tackle various other things at least once a month because it feels good.  The slow but steady progress makes me feel like I'm accomplishing things in my life and that makes me feel good about myself.

I've been thinking so much about my future lately.  Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck waiting for my life to start.  I live for my weekends not because I don't like my job or anything like that, but because my weekends are spent with the one person that I really want to spend my life with.  It's a hard position to be in.  Things at work run hot and cold.  Either I have one million tasks to complete, or nothing at all.  I also have a bunch of projects going at the same time so it can be hard to keep track of them all.  I've been keeping a list next to my computer and that seems to be helping these past few weeks.  My new boss starts in two weeks so I'm trying to up my productivity level before he gets back.

I've always had goals, but never in a place where I could easily access them before.  Thus, all my goal setting in the past wasn't very productive as I would forget them nearly as soon as I set them and I'd be lucky if I'd remember to look back and think about them.  Now, I'm getting things done, I'm learning new skills and recipes, I'm making more time for myself, and I feel good about everything.  My goals keep me focused on my life in the hear and now.  They keep me thinking about what I do have control over and living my life.  And with each thing that I cross off, I smile and remember that I can do anything I set my mind too.

I can't wait for the end of the year to roll around.  I'm hoping to have crossed off everything (if not, then nearly everything) and realize how far I've come over the year.  I have a lot of things going for me right now, and that list is living proof.

My life is changing as I'm getting older and growing up.  I'm transitioning in my life from college student to working adult.  I'm taking baby steps, but I'm getting there.  With each day that passes, with each new skill I learn, and with each step in the right direction, I'm moving forward with my life.  It's not what I expected, but that's how life works.  It isn't always fair but that's just the way things go.  I look back to my blog entries from a year ago and smile when I think about how far I've come.  It makes me wonder about just how far I can go in this life.  It feels like there are so many different possibilities and I'm excited to see where the journey takes me.

How I Did In February

Time for my monthly update on my goals!  It was a rough month for me, so I was pretty proud of myself for making it through and for accomplishing something!  I think it helped that I formatted this post at the beginning of the month.  I set up the post with the goals right there and it was sitting as a draft at the top of the page every time I logged in to blog.  It kept my goals at the forefront of my mind and I would check in at the end of every week to make sure I was making some progress and to remind myself about what I wanted to accomplish this year.  I'm really working hard at finishing things.  I want to start a few other things, but I'm not going to start anything new until I finish a lot more of this list.

1. Read at least one book a month - Read a few this past month!
2. Take my cousins to the movies just because
3. Exercise at least three times a week - I kept this goal up throughout February!  Yay!
4. Comment on each blog that I follow at least once a month - Still struggling through this one but finding it nearly impossible... maybe next month
5. Meet my first mother - She agreed to meet me!
6. Clean out my closet, including the back shelves
7. Go on an amazing vacation - More planning was accomplished this month
8. Learn to cook three dinner dishes really well - Picked out a new recipe to learn
9. Learn two new skills - I'm going to say that genealogy is a skill that I've learned more about
10. Post several book reviews on the blog
11. Relax more - I've been a lot less stressed thanks to exercising more and having a better attitude about things in general (with some exceptions...)
12. Be more creative with my photography - Tried a few different things this past month
13. Visit a new place I've never been to - Planning a trip to Chicago
14. Meet new people and make new friends
15. Go out on the town one night I feel like staying in
16. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
17. Pay off at least half of my loans - I'm halfway done with this goal!!!!
18. Get an apartment - Discussed the condo idea with Rudy
19. Learn the names of the people who sit around me at work - DONE!
20. Live life to the fullest

I'm noticing now that a lot of these goals can't be completed until the end of the year.  That's probably a good thing but it's hard to feel like I've accomplished something.  I may need to rework this list into a different format so I can actually cross some stuff off...  Hmm.  That's a short goal I can take care of easily next month!  Yay!

Now it's time for another busy month of March... I have a funny feeling there are going to be some major changes this month.  I don't think life will ever quite be the same afterward.  Wish me luck!

Future Worth Fighting For

It's taken me a few days to write about it, but this weekend was really really hard.  A person that I'm very close to decided that life wasn't worth living anymore.  I saw him mere hours before he tried to end it all.  He's still alive thanks to some quick thinking by a relative and a responsive paramedic team.  We have to wait and see how this all plays out over the next few days.  If you're a praying type of person, his family could really use the prayers.

I'm struggling to comprehend how it got to that point.  I knew things weren't going so well for him, but lately it seemed like things were going a lot better.  I saw him that day.  I can't get it out of my head.  I knew that something was wrong.  I knew it wasn't right, and I left.  I didn't want to embarrass him and I knew that his wife and children were home.

I've been trying to accept that there was nothing that I could have done.  I gave him a hug.  I told him I loved him.  And I left.  There was no way to know what he was going to do.  And he wasn't alone.  It was in no way my fault, but I still replay those moments over and over again.  I wasn't paying attention the way that I normally do.  I realized later that it wouldn't have made a difference even if I had.

It's made me realize how lucky I am.  Life isn't always easy, but I have hope for the future.  I can think of about ten things that he has to look forward to, but clearly he couldn't in that moment.  That's a sad thing.  I'm hoping that in time he comes to see how much he does have to look forward to, and that he fights for it.  I'm so thankful to have a future worth fighting for.

Here's a list as a reminder to myself of all the things that I have to look forward to:

1. Meeting my first family: With each new person I meet, there's so many new possibilities.  I'm sure that I won't get along with some, some relationships just won't pan out, and it's all going to be hard.  However, there's a good chance that some of those new relationships might work out.  And with each new connection, I learn more about myself and the person that I want to be.
2. Maintaining good friendship: I have a lot of friends out there.  I think of all the fun times that we've had, and I think about all the things we're going to do in the future.  I can't wait to share more nights that we'll never forever.
3. Restoring rights to adoptees: We're getting there.  With each state that opens records, we're getting closer.  No matter how small, I'm doing my part, including traveling to Chicago this summer.  I tell myself that blogging my story helps too, in the sense that maybe it's helping dismiss some of the stereotypes.  Maybe it does.  Anyway, this is something that I can continue to fight for and a legacy to leave behind for other adoptees.
4. All those question marks:  I don't know where my life is going to take me.  Who knows?  I'd like to end up in a nice house with a few kids, and live out my dreams.  I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm excited to have the future wide open ahead of me.  I can't wait to find out!

I'm going to try to live my life the way that it should be lived.  I'm going to fight for all my new beginnings and wonderful stories.  I believe in angels and I know that I have a few watching over me.  I don't want to give them a bad show...

Reevaluating My Goals

I was proud of this picture lol

I have a thing about goals.  I feel they need to be reevaluated every once and a while to keep them relevant.  And to hold myself accountable...  I have a problem with that.  Lately I've been noticing that I have a problem with finishing things.  I don't know if this has been going on for a while and I never noticed it, or if it's a new thing.  But as a way to keep myself on track, I'm going to do my best to reevaluate my goals at the start of each month and possibly change them if they need tweeking.  Again, I'm a work in progress.

1. Read at least one book a month - Read several in January
2. Take my cousins to the movies just because
3. Do yoga Exercise at least three times a week - Tweeking this one, adding in running to my exercise routine
4. Comment on each blog that I follow at least once a month - May have missed a few but I stepped up my commenting
5. Meet my first mother
6. Clean out my closet, including the back shelves
7. Go on an amazing vacation - Booked and half planned
8. Learn to cook three dinner dishes really well - Chicken Parm
9. Learn two new skills
10. Post several book reviews on the blog - Found was posted this month
11. Relax more
12. Be more creative with my photography - I'm getting there
13. Visit a new place I've never been to
14. Meet new people and make new friends
15. Go out on the town one night I feel like staying in
16. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
17. Pay off at least half of my loans - Getting there
18. Get an apartment - Looking into condos
19. Learn the names of the people who sit around me at work
20. Live life to the fullest

I have twenty goals and I've managed to make progress on nine of them.  I'd say that that's a pretty successful month!  This next month I'm focusing on getting back into shape.  I've started running (barely) but at least I have a schedule.  My exercise goal is to be in 5K running shape by May.  If I can do that, I'll count running as a skill.  We'll see how that one goes.

My book this month is going to be an adoption related book.  I want to post a review about it and update the resource page.  I have a bunch of books that I ordered and got, but I got sucked into the drama of my non-reunion so I put them away for now.  I think it's time to break them back out and hit the pavement again.  I don't want to take a break from this stuff because it's helping.  And it's a long term thing that I need to work on.  I have to put the work in now with this adoption crap so I'll do better tomorrow.  That's what I tell myself anyway.

Seeing as it's February (and the second anniversary of sending that first letter to my first mother), I'm going to be writing my first mother an email asking her to consider meeting me.  I've never actually asked her to meet me, so I'm going to put it out there.  I have a feeling she'll say no.  And then I'm going to have to ask again, only a bit more forcefully.  But I think it's time that I put it out there to her.  So I'm going to start working on it.  It's been two years.  It's time for us to meet.

So I'm making progress.  I still have a long way to go.  Maybe this month I'll actually get something crossed off my list.  Wish me luck!

Exercising!

Looking at my life, it's pretty clear to me that I need to make a change.  Exercise used to be a legit part of my life.  When I was a kid, I was always in a sport.  Always.  I played soccer in the fall and spring, skied in the winter, played softball in the spring, and swam in the summer.  Plus there was bike riding, running around, you name it, we did it.  And of course there was the ever present dance.  I used to dance at least three days a week, reaching the five days a week level at one point.  For hardcore dancers that's nothing, but I wasn't a hardcore dancer.  So basically I had lots of exercise.

At one point, I had to learn how to run for soccer.  They used to make us run about three miles during practice a few days a week.  Good conditioning they would tell us.  For me it was a bit pointless because I was the goalie who never really had to run anywhere.  But at least I could run there fast!  Then eventually I gave up soccer (it got way to competitive and I didn't like my teammates), gave up softball because I never really liked it, and wasn't as active during the summer because I had jobs.  Then after high school I stopped dancing.  I tried to get back into it after a year but it just didn't work out.  I think the thing was that all my activities ended slowly so I didn't realize that I'd eliminated most exercise from my daily routine until it was a huge problem.

Two years ago I decided to make a change.  It was right around the time of my first reunion and I knew that something had to give.  I wasn't sleeping, and I was constantly on edge.  My stress level was through the roof and I couldn't handle my life.  I found my first mother and while that helped a little bit, I was sent into the spinning vortex that is reunion.  And I had a lot of free time on my hands.  So I got a Wii Fit.  And I started working out everyday.  And then I started to feel better about myself.  I didn't think I could get in shape using a Wii Fit but it was perfect for me and what I was trying to do.  I actually noticed a difference.  And then the summer hit and I gave it up until I could go back to school.  When I went back, I had a job.  Between my nearly full time job and more than full time graduate program, I didn't have time to sleep, let alone exercise.  So out of shape I fell again.

Now that I'm just working full time (no more school!) I've been trying to think of ways to be more healthy.  I tried the Yoga thing and did OK with it, but it wasn't enough exercise for me to get all my pent up energy out.  I'm taking a dance class which is really intense (an hour of tap dancing - trust me it's not easy!) but that's only one day a week, and it's not enough.

So I decided that I'm going to start running.  Before this turns into yet another thing I start but don't finish, I did my homework.  I figured out the best way to start training (running for 30 seconds to a minute, and then walking for two minutes for about a half hour).  If I run three days a week (totally doable with our treadmill in the basement) I think I can be in decent running shape in about three weeks, as in I should be able to run for about ten minutes.  Once I get to that point, I can start working towards my new goal, to run a 5K.  There's a 5K in May that I have my eye set on.  It's two towns over and the registration fee isn't bad at all.  I think I can do it.  I'm going to give it my best shot anyway.

I'm hoping that running will become fun the way that it used to be.  It's not fun for me when I start out.  I don't like trying to get into shape.  But once I'm there, it becomes so much fun that I look forward to it.  Or so I remember.  So I want to get to that point.  I'm going to give it my best effort.  We'll see how this one goes...

Goals For 2012

Happy New Year Everyone!

In honor of the New Year, I'm going to post some goals for 2012.  I never seem to do well with resolutions, so instead I'm going to post goals for the year and see how many of them I can make come true!  I know it's going to be a great year.  For starters, my favorite number is 12, so bring it on 20-12!  So here are my goals in no particular order.

1. Read at least one book a month
2. Take my cousins to the movies just because
3. Do yoga at least three times a week
4. Comment on each blog that I follow at least once a month
5. Meet my first mother
6. Clean out my closet, including the back shelves
7. Go on an amazing vacation
8. Learn to cook three dinner dishes really well
9. Learn two new skills
10. Post several book reviews on the blog
11. Relax more
12. Be more creative with my photography
13. Visit a new place I've never been to
14. Meet new people and make new friends
15. Go out on the town one night I feel like staying in
16. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
17. Pay off at least half of my loans
18. Get an apartment
19. Learn the names of the people who sit around me at work
20. Live life to the fullest

I'm going to do my hardest to work at all of these goals.  Some are a lot easier than others!  I've read four books this month, so I'm not worried about that goal.  Other things I can easily get done once and cross them off the list.  Other things are going to take some persistence (like commenting on blogs and doing yoga).  Others are more of a mindset, like learning to relax and living life to the fullest.  However, I believe in myself so I'm going to give it my all!

So here's to 2012!  May you best the best year ever!

Disney Planning

Things have been a little bit hectic this past year.  There were a lot of changes in my life, a lot of challenges I never thought I'd have to face, and a lot of hurdles that I'm still trying to get past.  Life threw up some serious road blocks!  Some of those challenges are ongoing, but I find that the best way to deal with a dark time is to plan for the future.  So planning for the future I'm going to do!

When I was five, my family took a vacation to Disney World.  I was in my element!  As a Cinderella OBSESSED little girl, seeing the castle, just like it looked in the movie, was a dream come true.  I hate the movie Dumbo, but I loved the ride.  I had seen so many TV shows with the Dumbo ride, my friends had all been on it, and I just had to ride it.  So that was another dream come true after waiting for over an hour in line. It was a magical vacation, for me anyway.  However, we went during April Vacation week and the park was packed!  Plus our travel group consisted of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  And traveling with fourteen people isn't the most relaxing way to have a vacation.  Thus, at the end of the trip the Grinch declared he was never going back.  We begged.  We pleaded.  It didn't matter; we never went back.

Rudy and I decided that we are going to go away on vacation this spring.  In the past we've gone away to a tropical island (my idea of a fantastic vacation) but Rudy asked to do something a bit more exciting this year.  He's been all over the country and seen almost everything there is to see while I've barely left New England.  We tossed around a few ideas and when I tentatively suggested maybe Disney would be fun, Rudy was so excited we realized we had to go.  Why was Rudy, the person who's been there a large number of times, so excited to go?  Because he knew that I'm essentially like a first-timer.  I don't remember anything other than the Dumbo ride and "It's a Small World".  So going with me is like seeing the magic again for the first time.  I.  Can't.  Wait.

So I'm planning our vacation now.  I've been told to plan six months in advance, so I'm going to do my best to plan it all out now.  I have the time, so I'm looking into the best deals, figuring out where to stay, and trying to get a good price on flights.  I've been doing research into what week to go, and where to stay.  Rudy had one place to cross off the list.  He's stayed at that hotel three times.  The first time, his brother got the flu for the whole week (the flu while at Disney?  What a nightmare!).  The second time Rudy broke his hand (his brother was involved that time too... hmmm).  And the third time, after being there for one day they got the call that Rudy's grandfather had died and they had to fly home.

We also made a list of all the things that we really wanted to do.  We can't do all the parks in one week, so we're going to have to spend our time wisely.  Because I've never done a lot of the rides (five was too young for thrilling rides) I made a list and Rudy and I broke them down into parks.  Plus we both really want to do the Harry Potter theme park (that's a first for both of us!).  I'm so excited!

I feel like a little kid again!  Wish me luck in my planning adventures!

Goals for the Week

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!  Today continues my vacation that I started last Friday.  Thanks to my company giving us all some time off (Friday and today, plus the Monday after New Years) and my remaining vacation time, I'm able to enjoy this whole week off (which turned out to be 11 days).  So ten points to me!  I have a few goals for this very busy week.

My first goal is to clean out the trunk of my car.  It's full right now.  Mostly with jackets, shoes, and books.  So I need to bring in all the jackets and hang them in the closet, put the shoes away in the bin under my bed, and get the books back into the bookcase.  That's the plan for today.  I know I can get it done!

My next goal is to order my new dresser.  My dad took my old one for the guest bedroom and promised to buy me a new one, one that I can take with me when I move.  So I picked out the one I want, I just need to order it online using my dad's credit card.  That's another goal that I think I can accomplish today.  I'm determined.

I'm pretty sure I can get both of these things done in time to go visit with an old friend.  She was my neighbor growing up (and my mentor's daughter).  I was the flower girl in her wedding.  Her oldest daughter just got into college this month (and is the same age as KungFuPanda).  I didn't know this until recently, but her husband is an adoptee.  Go figure...  We've been trying to meet up forever but it just hasn't worked out.  Seeing her is a top goal for the week!

Tomorrow I have the annual Christmas party for my mom's side of the family.  The kids do a gift grab and the adults do a Yankee Swap.  It's pretty funny.  One of my uncle's in notorious for stopping somewhere to get a gift card on the way to the party where the rest of us plan for weeks as to what to get.  Naturally everyone wants the gift card he buys and his gift is the most popular swapped item.  Nice...

Wednesday is my "down day".  My mom had a baby book that she made for me.  It's all about my adoption with cute baby pictures of me.  I have mixed feelings about it.  Some of the language isn't so great to deal with but at the same time, it's a part of my history.  My mom used to read it to me as a bedtime story.  A few years ago the pages started to yellow so my mom ripped it apart to save the pictures.  She promised to put it back together again but never got around to it.  I found a few websites that will let me put it back together again as long as I scan the photos.  No more yellow pages!  So the goal for Wednesday is to put the book back together again online and order it.  My mom is going to help me so it should be a lot of fun to spend some time with her.

Thursday I will probably go to Connecticut to spend some time with my "school" family.  It ought to be a fun time.  I'm planning on celebrating New Years in Times Square (I'm crazy I know) and coming home Sunday night.  That leaves Monday to finish anything that I didn't get done over the week.  It's not much of a vacation (though the weekend will be) but I put so much off for "when I have time" that I really need to get done this week to start the year off right!

Wish me luck!  I'm going to need it...