Another Letter

Dear KungFuPanda,

First of all, congratulations!  I'm so excited that you've been accepted into college and that you received a scholarship!  It's an amazing accomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself.  I've heard it all through the grapevine and there's nothing I want more than to share in this joy with you.  But since I cannot, I'm writing you a letter on a public blog instead.

I have some sisterly advice for you when it comes to college.  Take what you can from it and throw out the rest.  Which oddly how you should take all advice...  Back to the point!

College is different than high school.  You're parents aren't going to be around.  You're truly on your own.  You have your friends, but you probably won't know many people at first.  It's scary to face a room full of people and to not know anyone.  But remember that they are scared too.  They don't know anyone either.  So be open.  Be friendly.  And you'll find your friends.  Sometimes all it takes is a smile and a kind word.  You'll quickly find that your friends become your family in college.  Be good to them and they'll be good to you.

You're going to have a lot of time on your hands.  More time than you've ever had before.  You no longer are sitting in a classroom from eight until two every day.  You probably only have about fifteen hours of class a week.  Use that extra time wisely.  I don't mean lock yourself up in the library either.  Sometimes the best things that you can learn in college are discovered by getting out there and meeting new people.  Join a club you never would have considered in high school.  Attend a religious ceremony for a religion you know nothing about (try to find a friend to go with though so they can explain it to you).  Volunteer.  Play video games with the kid down the hall.  Learn about life.  Study so you do well in your classes.

Now for the not so much fun stuff.  Be careful.  Be safe.  Not everybody you meet is going to be a good person.  So you're going to need to exercise some judgement and have some common sense.  If you go out with your girlfriends, come home with your girlfriends.  Keep your cell phone with you at all times and make sure you charge it before you go out.  Always have an emergency $20 for a cab in case you need it.  Learn your school's safety system and put the number for the college police in your cell phone.  You've probably been told this a million times, but it's worth being said again.  Watch your drink.  Watch it while the bartender is pouring it.  If you put it down and walk away, get a new drink.  Know your limits and stick to them.  Water in a red solo cup is a great way to stop people from bugging you to drink more.  It's better to be prepared and not need it than to be unprepared and get yourself accidentally in trouble.  You're smart.  I know you have the tools to keep yourself safe.

You're a bright girl.  You're going to go far.  It may seem scary at first and out of reach, but I know that you can accomplish anything you set your mind too.  And trust me, these next four years are going to fly by.  You'll look back someday and wonder where your college years went.  So live in the moment.  Have fun!  You've got a big sister out there somewhere who's silently supporting and praying for you.  You can do this kid!

Your big sister,

Boy Drama

So Rudy and I had a rough month.  The distance thing is awful.  We never planned on spending this much time away from each other after graduation.  We figured we'd have more freedom when we weren't tied down to getting our degrees.  We both stayed at school for an extra year for our masters and graduated at the same time.  We're both finished with our education unless I decide to go back someday (unlikely).  I was going to try to stay there for a year while he worked toward his CPA licence.  Then we were going to move together up near my family.  God's cracking up at our plans right now!  A pesky brain tumor wormed its way into the best laid plans and boom!  I'm home taking care of my sick mommy and Rudy's stuck in another state trying to get his licence and working for a company I'm starting to view as the Evil Empire.

Long distance relationships are hard.  They aren't for the weak.  You have to trust the other person 100% in order for it to work.  I had a friend point out once that Rudy could be doing whatever he wanted because I'd have no way of knowing.  A) My boyfriend isn't like that and B) I'd know.  That's the benefit of having loads of friends down there.  One of them would slip.  Something would come out.  And Rudy's either at work, talking to me on the phone, or with his family.  And we see each other nearly every weekend.  So in that sense I do trust him 100%.  You also have to know when it's going to be over.  You have to have a time in mind when you aren't going to be long distance and you're going to start being in a "normal" relationship.  Long distance isn't a permanent thing, at least not in my mind.  It's temporary.  So you have to have a rough idea as to when.  Rudy and I are having issues with that.  His job makes it nearly impossible for him to move, or have an idea as to when he's going to move.  He can either quit his job in a year and risk not being hired by someone else (he'd be short his licence) or he can wait it out a lot longer than we had planned and move up here in two years.  Two years, after already being apart for a half of a year, is a lot longer than we thought.  I can't move.  It's not an option with my mom being the way that she is.  So we're at a standstill.  I'm not 100% sure of how things are going to work out.

At the same time, I know that he's the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with.  We've been together coming up on five and a half years.  I know him backwards and forwards.  I can tell when he's annoyed with me.  I can tell when he's trying not to laugh and failing.  I can tell when he's sad.  I can tell when he's thrilled.  I can tell when he's frustrated at the situation too.  These are all things I can pick up over the phone.  I've gotten so good at reading him because that's our major form of communication.  I know him backward and forward and I know who he is.  I know the essential parts of Rudy.  He's my other half.  He's my best friend.  He's the person first think of in the morning, and the last person I think of as I'm falling asleep.

So we're starting to plan for our future together.  Because if we don't, I'm going to lose my mind.  First step, plan a vacation for next year.  After all our time apart, we need some time together just the two of us.  I can't wait!