Switched At Birth: The Dating Your Father Complex (not really)

I'm a fan of ABC Family's Switched at Birth.  Although I wasn't "switched at birth", I do find some of the themes to be similar.  I watched last night's episode "Self-Portrait With a Bandaged Ear" and was again struck at how similar some of the themes are.  (Note: I'm about to talk about a few minor plot points).

Basically, you have two girls who are switched at birth, and figure it out when they are 16.  Major twist is that one of the girls is deaf.  So you basically have all these issues that the show gets to explore about not only being switched at birth but also the differences between the deaf and hearing worlds.  Back to the switch thing.  One girl ends up with this super rich family (the father was a major league baseball player) while the other girl ends up with a single mom in a bad area of town.  Eventually, the other father comes back and had the opportunity to get to know his biological daughter.

So you have Bay and Angelo getting to know one another.  Which is awkward.  So in this episode, Bay meets Angelo at a coffee shop where the two of them are going to get to know each other.  This is really their first time hanging out together just the two of them because all other "visits" have had a chaperon.  So it's strange.  And neither of them know what to say.  And he orders her a coffee not realizing that she's 16 and not really allowed to drink it.  Whoops!  And then Bay says the most amazing thing.  She tells him that it's so strange because it's like a cross between an interview and a date.  Only he's her father.

She hit the nail on the head.  Exactly what I felt like getting to know my first father.  There's a lot of qualities that are similar to dating.  Only it's not a date because he's your father.  So then it feels more like an interview.  But not really.  There really isn't any situation that's similar.  So weird and awkward.  And because it's weird and awkward, you know that something doesn't feel right.  Or at least I knew something didn't feel right.  And that just made it worse.  Don't get me wrong, it was amazing getting to know my first father.  But different and unexpected at the same time.  Twilight zone different.

Anyway, that small line stuck with me for the rest of the show.  Because it summed up so perfectly what I was feeling nearly a year ago when I met my first father for the first time.  And it really made me think about why that show is on television.  Because honestly?  It's like something that no other situation compares to.  There isn't anything else like it.  This feeling of getting to know someone you are biologically related to for the first time not as a child but as an adult (or teen in this case).  It's not normal and people are drawn to the story line.  Or at least that's what I think anyway.

I was talking to Rudy about things last night.  He compared what I was going through to a break up.  And in some cases, he's right.  But at the same time, when you break up with someone, there's a small glimmer of hope that maybe there's someone else out there.  You can meet another person eventually.  You might not think that right away, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  My first father can never be replaced.  There is only one person out there who contributed that part of my DNA.  I can't search again and find someone else.  That's it.  He's it.  So if things are really done, then that's it.  It's painful, but the truth.

And because it's January 18th, go check out Amanda's blog post STOP SOPA/PIPA!

Vacation Recap

I need a vacation from my vacation!  I got a lot accomplished, but not nearly enough.  I did however watch lots of TV.  While a part of me thinks "What a waste of a week" another part of me is happy I got to relax.  I saw lots of friends, loads of family, and had a great time overall.  I even took a trip to Connecticut to see Rudy which is a coin toss.  This time it was a fantastic visit, even though the air mattress I was sleeping on got a hole in it so I woke up in the middle of my last night on the floor.  Oh well!

Rudy and I made a game time decision and decided not to go to Times Square.  Instead, we sat around watching TV and movies all day in our PJs.  I can now say I've seen three of the four Die Hard movies (Live Free or Die Hard is still on my list).  Thanks to a new Netflix account I now have a way of slowly getting through my list of movies.  We also discovered Storage Wars.  It's pretty epic.  Though I do think it would be weird to go through someone else's stuff like that after buying a storage locker.  I can't get over it.  If you have something of major value in your storage locker and you were falling behind in your payments, why wouldn't you sell something to come up with the money to pay for it?  I've only seen a few episodes but one locker contained items estimated at $90,000.  That's a lot of money!

My friends and I had some great times too.  We went out a few times and hung out like we used to before we all had jobs.  What a nice life we all had back then!  One of my friends got great news this break too.  She not only got the job she applied for (how exciting!) but her boyfriend passed a major test and is able to move forward with his career.  So it was a good vacation for her.  My other friend started a new job after two years of searching.  While it's hard to be the new girl, she's adjusting well and finally doing what she went to school for.  So it was fantastic to see her and hear all about it.

We had a bunch of family parties this break too.  I saw the majority of my cousins (which is no small task as I have 27 of them...), aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  Next weekend I have another family party as three of my cousins will be playing in the same high school hockey game (on different teams no less!).  So there's been loads of extended family time.  Which is fun.  I'm sure after next weekend though I'll need a break!

Back to work and back to normal life I guess.  Did everyone have a great holiday season?

I'm not all adoption you know...

Though at times it does seem like my entire life is about adoption, it really isn't.  I swear!  I'm a normal person too!  I have interests!  I do stuff!  And if you met me on the street, I could have whole conversations with you and you'd never know I was adopted.  I promise.

One of my interests is dance.  I love dance.  I used to live for it.  I would be at the studio teaching two, three times a week, took my own lessons twice a week, and ran a dance team practice once a week as well.  I practically lived there.  It was OK because it was across the street so I could come and go as I pleased.  Something about dance kept me going.  It never mattered what happened at school that day, how crappy I felt, or whatever else was going on in life.  When I was out on the floor, either in pointe shoes, jazz boots, or tap shoes, it never mattered.  It was just me and the music and my fellow dancers.  It was magical when things went right.  It was painful when they went wrong.  But I learned so much in that studio.  I learned that there is no such word as "can't".  It's "I'm unable to do it at the moment but I will keep trying".  I learned that when you fall down, you get back up and try it again.  And I learned that you are only as strong as your weakest dancer, so you build each other up.  All very important life lessons.  The studio has closed it's doors and I miss it so much.  I miss my students, I miss seeing their progress, and I miss hugs after class because they had a good time.  I'm starting to work my way back into dance.  I might not be able to do what I used to, but there's no excuse for being out of shape.  Times have been stressful lately and I've turned my back on the one thing that used to keep me going.  I think life is trying to tell me something.

I also love technology.  I think if you haven't figured that out yet, you haven't been paying attention on my blog. I've always been great with computers, and I have made them my career.  I do have a love/hate relationship at time and I want to throw my old laptop out the window sometimes (I can't, I haven't moved everything over yet), but at the end of the day, I don't hate my job or my career.  And it's like Christmas morning when I get a new piece of technology.  So awesome :-)

Next, I love TV.  Growing up, my mom was super anti-TV.  We were only allowed to watch Saturday morning cartoons and a movie here or there on rainy days.  Instead, we read, we went outside to play, and we had a lot of dolls.  We had closets full of dolls.  All sort of dolls.  It was amazing.  I still have some of them so I can maybe pass them on someday.  Anyway, we never watched TV.  We didn't have cable until I was in high school.  Now, I'm a huge TV fan.  I get lost in books very easily and I need something that has a set end time, like a TV show.  I'm a big junkie.  I love Hu.lu.  Go figure.

So now you know about three of my interests that are not adoption related.  You learn something new every day!

Wishes Checklist

Here are a bunch of things that I wish for.  In no particular order.  And it's just a partial list.  But it's still a list