Everywhere I Go

I went to the Cape for the weekend last weekend with my boyfriend as sort of a last hurrah. My grandmother turned 80 this week so today is her party (so no Cape this weekend) and then my boyfriend goes away with his family so I won't get to see him for a while. We had the perfect beach day Saturday and I got to go to the ocean (it was amazing!) something that I have to do at least once a summer. Sunday was bad weather, so we went to a local flea market as something to do. We wandered along, stopping here and there. Going to a flea market is fun, and we always have a good time. You can learn a lot about a person when you go to a flea market with them. My boyfriend has a hidden talent of finding cool things in places that I wouldn't normally look. So we stop at a lot of booths that I would walk by if I was on my own.

There was a booth with a lot of old maps. We stopped so he could go through them. He's really into history, something I've been avoiding lately. There was another couple talking to the vendor about history. I'm guessing they had been looking at the maps before we got there. Anyway, I was kind of staring off into space so I picked up on their conversation. The guy was talking about how his family was from Italy and suggesting a DNA test to the couple to see where they came from. He was talking about how it was easier for males and made it seem like he was talking more to the girl. Kind of an odd conversation I thought, but something that I am used to hearing about as an adoptee. Just not something that I've heard out in the real world too often.

Turns out she is an adoptee looking for her "birthparents". She hasn't been successful so far, so that's why the vendor was suggesting DNA testing. I really can't go anywhere without hearing about adoption lately. My poor boyfriend was pulled away from that booth so fast his head was spinning. I felt bad because I had to wait to calm down before I could explain why I needed to leave. I think he was still scratching his head even after I managed to get out… "They were talking about DNA testing because she's an adoptee looking for her birthparents. I couldn't listen to that conversation anymore!"

I don't know what made me run away. It just showed me again that no matter how far I think I've come, I still have a long way to go. I'm still not ok with my adoption, no matter how much I try to work on it. All the blogging, all the posting on forums, all the talking about it with non-adoptees, I'm still running away. It's helped me some, but I still need to get to the point where I can talk to adoptees in real life. I'm working on it. I want to be at that point by the time I go to Chicago next year I won't flee from the room. I hope that girl finds what she's looking for. Maybe somewhere down the line, I'd be able to approach her and let her know that we belong to the same club.