Changes

I've decided to make some changes to my blog.  I really want to let all my readers know what the changes are and why because I feel it's important.  And I'm really sorry I have to change things up.  It's not cool and I know it.  But when it comes down to it, I have to do what I think it best for me and my family.

I blog for a lot of reasons.  Some of the big ones is that it makes me feel better.  Venting and putting myself out there is a good thing.  It helps me a lot to get feedback, and to have people in my corner.  So that's a big thing for me.  I also blog because I think it's a topic that doesn't always get discussed.  Adoptees are expected to be grateful, and they aren't allowed to mourn the loss of their first family.  We need to change the way our society sees adoption and the only way to do that is to get the word out there.  When I was starting the searching process and my reunion, I poured through the web looking for anything that could help.  If someone comes to my blog, I'd want them to see that they aren't alone and it's ok.

Reading back through all of the posts, I realize that there's a lot on here that I would feel uncomfortable about if certain people found.  While I don't use real names, some of the details are a bit too specific.  The names are close enough to real life that it wouldn't take a lot to jump to conclusions.  And while I don't see too many people from my first family finding this, I would hate if one of my first parents found this blog.  I would hate it because there's a lot on here that a) they might feel was too specific and too private and b) I haven't talked to them about all of this stuff and it might be hurtful for them to read about how I really feel.  I would love to have these conversations with them, but I can't always do that.  It stinks.

I also an a bit worried about my adoptive family finding this blog.  There are just too many of them to have these conversations with.  It's totally draining to have some of these talks with two of them.  I have fifty people in my family counting first cousins and aunts and uncles.  That's not counting spouses, children, grandparents, or my immediate family.  That's a lot of people to deal with.

So in order to make myself feel a bit more secure, I've created another blog.  I'm going to start moving blog posts over to that other blog that I feel maybe should be a bit more private.  And they are password protected.  I have NO PROBLEM WHAT SO EVER giving out the password, as long as you promise not to pass it along without permission or post it anywhere.

It's going to take me some time to get this worked out.  I'm also going to change the names once again.  They are going to be nicknames now rather than actual names.  I think that would be for the best.  Again I'm really sorry about any confusion.  I just need to make sure that this blog isn't something that can be used against me in the future.  Nothing like being proactive...

Thanks again for your understanding!