Here's a picture that I found a while back when I was looking for pictures of me as a baby to show my first father. Apparently my mother has hidden a lot of my baby pictures somewhere that's not with the rest of the pictures. Or my family had an aversion to taking pictures of me as a baby. The only one I was able to find was this one :
That me and my adoptive mom on the day my parents brought me home. My adoptive dad's arm is in the lower left corner. I know a lot of adoptees hate the pictures of their first day home, but I love this picture. I love the look on my adoptive mom's face. She was so happy that day. I really was a child without a mother, and she stepped in to be the mother my first mother wasn't able to be. My first mother wasn't coerced and had two months to make up her mind about keeping me. My adoptive mother isn't to blame for that, and she's allowed to be happy the day my parents brought me home.
I look like I'm trying to figure things out. Apparently I was a really laid back baby. I think I was just happy to be around people who wanted me and who were clearly ready to love me. And dress me in polka dots. And later, bows. Oh the bows...
Tomorrow's post... Really Mom? More pics to come!
I loved the picture. My daughter told me she hasn't seen too many pictures of herself as a baby but I am not sure if it's cause they didn't take them or they been lost or something. It's kind of ironic that I mourned for besides missing my daughter I just wished and wished that they would have stayed in contact to give pictures and they weren't taking them or lost them.
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful picture. Your mom looks wicked happy lol. I've noticed that baby picture taking seems to dwindle in most families with each child, not to say that's why this was the only one you could find but in my family, it's glaring. The kid in our family who has the least baby pictures is my brother, the youngest and only bio to my parents.
ReplyDeleteYou saying "I really was a child without a mother" is striking to me as that was me too.
I cannot adequately describe the feeling I felt that day I became a mother. Like you were, my daughter was 2 months old. While I had waves of grief of the losses that also occured, my heart could have burst with hope, love and joy.
ReplyDeleteMy dqughter is 3.5. Today, as we were ealking to the park, she plced her small hand in mine, and my heart filled up- it's a love like no other. That say in June 2008, and today, I fell so very, very lucky that I get to be her mom.
i knwo your mom is ill, and it is hard. Looking at her face in that pic, I can be sure that you have filled her heart.
Thanks! I know the pictures exist because I've seen some of them. I just can't seem to find them anywhere now... And seeing as I'm the oldest, I know there are loads and loads of pictures around our house somewhere.
ReplyDeleteThis is the picture I like to look at after a rough day with my mom to remind me how much she really does care. Even if she's not capable of showing it all the time now...
Thanks for the positive comments!
I love this picture, too. It's funny that our pictures start with our being two months old: that is, unless your first parents have any of you they're willing to share. I know my first pics are the ones my aparents have of me. It's weird having that 10 week blank, but there's nothing to be done.
ReplyDeleteI, like you, was a baby without a mother, and I am glad that my aparents, loving, wonderful people that they are, stepped up. My situation was what it was, and no sugarcoating will change it.
I am sorry that it's such hard going with your amom right now. Being a caretaker is difficult work. Remember to take care of yourself, too, all right? xx