It's All About the Attitude

I'm learning that sometimes it's all about the attitude.  I think my favorite part of philosophy in college was when we learned that there isn't really a reality.  It's all about perception.  No two people perceive the world in the same way.  So there is not one reality, no one right way, no one absolute.  Two people will view the same thing from different perspectives with different past experiences.  I will always view things from the point of view of an adult adoptee who was born and raised in Massachusetts, went to a private college. and has a degree in engineering.  Each life experience also shapes me so I'll see things differently from another adult adoptee born and raised in Massachusetts, who went to a private college, and has a degree in engineering.  So we all see things differently.  If each person sees things from their own perspective, then there cannot be one absolute reality.  Just a blending of how we all see things.  And I'm learning that how I see things is all dependent on my attitude.

I'm super into self-help books these days.  Some of it's crap.  This I acknowledge.  So I read with a skeptical eye.  Sometimes though you stumble across something great.  And those gems are starting to help me through this rough patch.  For starters, I'm starting to accept what happened to me.  I phrase it that was because adoption is not something that I chose.  It was chosen for me.  It happened to me, without my consent.  And there are times when it really does suck.  I love my adoptive family.  Don't get me wrong.  But I wish I was their biological daughter.  I wish I didn't have to deal with these issues.  I wish I could be the same as everyone else.  But I'm not.  And I'm starting to accept that.  It's a process and I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm working on it.

Next, I'm working on my attitude towards things.  I'm learning that I need to be flexible and bend as life changes.  That being said, I'm learning not to bend so far that I break.  It's a fine line and I'm learning how to manage.  I'm learning to accept that life isn't always fair.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  I can sit around and feel badly about it, or I can dust myself off, pick myself back up, and move forward.  Being sucked down by something because it's unfair doesn't make things better, it just makes me feel worse.  I'm also figuring out that I need to take care of myself.  Sometimes I tend to put the needs of others first and then dealing with my own needs and wants second.  I need to learn to take care of myself because if I'm not at my best, I can't do much for others (mental note: schedule yearly physical - no more putting it off because Mom's sick).  So I'm working on fixing my attitude.  It's a work in progress, but then again, isn't that what life's about?

My new favorite saying is that I'm a work in progress.  I'll always be growing and learning and changing.  Life isn't static.  I'm trying to maintain a good attitude about everything.  There are certain things in life that I can't change, so the only thing in my control is my attitude.