Rudy's cousin got married last summer (well I guess more like two summers ago now that it's sort of fall) and as the girlfriend for (then three and a half) years, I was invited. It was a casual outdoor wedding, so I was actually invited by the mother of the groom (Rudy's aunt) and never got a formal invite. Talk about awkward. It ended up being fantastic and I had the best time. I've come to love Rudy's family a lot. I get along great with his cousins who remind me of my own. His aunts and uncles have been so welcoming of me. And don't even get me started on Rudy's grandmother, possibly one of the sweetest women I've ever met. His other side of the family is great too, just in a different way. In a "we only see you a few times a year way." The weirdest part about that is they actually live pretty close, but the family as a whole isn't always that close. So go figure.
Anyway, back to the point. Apparently, Rudy's aunt was a little bit of a rebel when she went to college. She fell in love, dropped out, moved in with her new boyfriend, and never told her parents who continued to pay for school as well as room and board. Rudy's grandmother is an extreme Catholic, so this was a huge no-no. Whoops! Anyway, when there was a marriage in the family, Rudy's now-uncle was still the boyfriend. When it came time for the family pictures, he was asked to step away. Even though he was planning on marrying Rudy's aunt, he was not "part of the family" yet and therefore not invited to be in the pictures. Now I don't know the proper etiquette for this, but that's besides the point. The point is that he felt left out.
Cue the wedding of the cousin, Rudy's now uncle's son (if you can follow that logic). I never even got an official invite from the bride and groom (and I sensed that the bride may not have really wanted me there all that much). So when it came time to take pictures, I offered to hold the jackets. It was a family moment after all. Turns out, Rudy's uncle wouldn't have any of that. He was determined to make sure that everyone knew that while I may not have a ring, I was a part of that family too. And I was going to be in that family picture. So into the picture I went.
It was so simple. It would have been so easy to leave me out, but they didn't. They wanted me to feel included. And it wasn't a big deal. The world didn't end. The bride and groom didn't freak out. And over a year later, I'm still in the picture. I might be in the picture for a long time if the hints I've been getting turn out to be true.
This came up yet again. Rudy was visiting a few weeks ago and mentioned that his grandmother wanted to give me some jewelry. Apparently Rudy's brother's girlfriend isn't getting any because she's not sure if they are going to stay together. But Rudy's grandmother believes in our relationship so much that she'd like to give me family jewelry because she knows it will "stay in the family". I was so touched when he told me that. Naturally, I'm now going to avoid any jewelry for a while because it's a bit awkward, but I was touched never the less that she considers me to be family without any pomp and circumstance. Why can't all family relationships be that simple? Why can I so easily be accepted into a stranger's family (not really a stranger, but he was to me five years and a month ago) but not the family that I was born into?
These things I don't think I will ever truly understand. I'm trying really hard. At the same time, I'm going to love this family who has accepted me the way that the deserve to be loved. They are special people and I'm very lucky to have them in my life.
"...I'm going to love this family who has accepted me the way that the deserve to be loved. They are special people and I'm very lucky to have them in my life."
ReplyDeleteThis is *exactly* how I feel about my now in-laws. They have accepted me for who I am and love me the way I deserved to be loved my entire life. Resting in the easy peace of these kinds of people's love is truly a remarkable thing, isn't it?