Well I wish I could say I was surprised

She's Gonna Blow!

For once, it was super nice not to have to worry about the state of my reunion.  Things were going fantastic.  They almost felt, dare I say it... normal.  In the beginning, we had a set day to talk on the phone.  I could count on emails coming in once a week (usually late on Tuesday nights after a show my first father likes to watch).  Once I moved home, things got a bit more sporadic because I was dealing with my mom's health issues.  But eventually we figured out when to talk and the emails were still pretty consistent.  We met up a few times, but kept up with everything.  Great.

Then I started my job in August.  So I no longer had a day off during the week.  Which meant that I couldn't talk to my first father in the morning on his day off because I was working and busy.  So our once a week phone conversation was in jeopardy.  But here's the thing.  My first father and I get out of work around the same time when he works overtime.  So if he was going to work overtime, he would text me and we'd chat on my way home.  We both got home around the same time, so it worked out well.  There were a few issues with this though.  We never knew when he'd be working overtime.  So if he didn't get overtime, we could go a while without talking.  When it got bad, I tried to put time aside on the weekend when he'd be  leaving work so I could talk to him then, but it didn't always work out, seeing as my weekends were/are very busy.  Weekends are the only time I get to see Rudy, so every other weekend is spent with him and I pack normal weekend activity into the other weeks.  So I'm rarely hanging out at home with nothing to do.

And then the emails all but stopped.  I used to get one a week, or roughly four a month.  Now I only get one a month.  I've been apologized to.  The last email I got was only because I told him I had pictures to send him and wouldn't until I got the email he owed me.  All of this was done in a joking manner, but the point is that I shouldn't have had to do that.  Oh well.

But throughout all of this, the phone calls continued.  And we found a way to make it work.  And lets not forget the text messages.  In fact, when we didn't talk it seems like we texted more.  I'd prefer talking on the phone or an email to text messages, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

And then I hit a bunch of drama.  So I wasn't around as much.  I let SinginInTheRain know it wasn't him.  I've read on other blogs that sometimes adoptees pull away, the first parent thinks it's them and finds out later that it was because something else was going on in the adoptee's life.  So I didn't want him to think that.  In fact, I asked him for advice and he felt honored.  I texted him on Wednesday that I hoped he was having a nice day on his day off because I didn't want him to think I was ignoring him.  One text message.  Whatever, not a big deal, nor out of the ordinary.

Then I only got a few sporadic text messages, and they were one word mostly (not his MO).  Ok, he'd been working a lot and it's a busy time of year where he works.  Fine.  Didn't worry about it.  And then he had two days off.  We don't usually text those days only because more often than not, he leaves his phone in one room and watches TV another.  Or he's insanely busy and doesn't check his phone.  It's not that he ignores me on his days off, he ignores everyone.  I've been known to not answer my phone or return text messages on my days off.  Unplugging can be great.  So I didn't think anything of it.  I've been busy.  He's been busy.  I feel secure enough in our relationship that I didn't think anything of it.  Which really is pretty cool.  But on his day off Tuesday he had texted me first, so Wednesday I figured I'd reciprocate.  So I texted him "Hope you're having a good day off!"  And I never heard back.  Whatever, again, didn't think anything of it.  And then the next day I got a text message.  Rephrase: I got a cryptic text message.

"Sorry haven't texted.  Not having good days.  Will explain later."

Hm.  Ok.  Whatever.  I knew that things with his job were getting a little bit intense.  I also knew that things with Sandlot weren't going so great.  I figured that's what everything was about.  So he called me the other day on his way home.  He didn't sound like himself.  I told him about my day so he could sort of gather his thoughts.  Then I asked him what was up.  So he's been having a hard time at work.  What I expected.  And Sandlot, well, she's been hiding work and not doing it for school.  So they are having a hard time and don't know what to do about it.  What I expected.  And KungFuPanda saw the text message I sent on Wednesday and asked who I was.  And why I texted he so much.

Yeah.  Deep breath.  Bomb dropped.  Mind reeling.  And then some more.  I was asked not to text him anymore and that the phone calls were going to have to stop, except every once and a while.  He'll still email me, but he has to be super careful because she might start to figure things out.  Oh, and he's sorry. Oh, and his mother is visiting for a whole month.  And guess what?  She has early Alzheimer's.  Wonderful.  Any more bad news?  Oh yeah, he most certainly won't be able to call again until January.  Fantastic.  Merry Christmas!

I wish I could say I was surprised.  I have three posts I wrote Friday while I had time at work, so those are going to run while I process.  And then I'm going to figure out how to handle this.  Thanks for reading.