Taking Back Control Part 1

Trying to get back to peacefullness

I know I've said this before and failed miserably, but I've decided to take control of my life.  I think that life in general (and mine more specifically) is very complicated.  There are so many different layers and conditions and parts that it's hard to take control of them all.  And then there are certain things that are out of our control.  What's that saying again?  Thanks to Google and Wikipedia we have:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

There you have it.  But there are things that I can change.  I just haven't been recognizing that lately.  So I'm going to break it down and figure out what I need to work at a little harder right now.

Mom situation
My mother is really holding her own.  She's been doing great and improving.  Her doctors finally found a good combination for her medication and she's able to do more these days than in the past.  She's acting more like her old self during the day.  There's nothing I can do to control this situation, but I am able to make things easier for her at home.  I do have control over the little things.  And I do those things.  Which means Christmas shopping and leaving laundry out for her to do (it's her one chore and makes her happy -- weird right?).  So control?  I'll call that a check!

Sister
We're finally starting to get along better.  We have a common enemy in the Grinch.  So things are a lot less stressful when she's around.  I still stand by the fact we get along better when we don't live together, but she's finally back in her own apartment.  So hopefully things will continue to go well.  I have managed to control my reaction to her.  I treat her with indifference and make my expectations clear.  Example: I made it very clear she is not to drive my car.  I'm indifferent to the situation as long as she doesn't touch my car.  That being said, last time she tried, she called me a bitch and refused to speak to me for two weeks.  I treated that situation with indifference.  She knows the expectation and knows she can't rattle me for attention.  Therefore, when I asked if she wanted to go to a concert with me in the spring, she agreed.  I wasn't holding onto the car thing, she saw that, and we moved on.  It's a much better situation.

Rudy
Oh boy.  How to tackle this one... We have a rough plan.  He knows that our current situation isn't working for me.  He knows I'm not going to budge on that.  He also knows that while he's the most important person to me, I've been very clear from day one about my expectations about certain things (like geography).  We're working through it.  I'm not sure how things are going to turn up.  All I know is I'm not going to make it over two years of long distance.  I'm done with the whole thing and it's only been six months.  I used to tell people that if you really care about a person, you find a way to make it work.  And I still believe that to some extent.  But I also believe that it's extremely hard to go through the toughest part of your life to date alone because your significant other is living three hours away and can't be there.  I've also learned that it takes two to tango.  We're still up in the air.  We have a lot to figure out.  And my situation at home isn't helping.  Neither are his parents who have been trying to control his life.  But we're working.  So I'd say this is half way under control.  Not quite there, but getting there.

The Grinch
I've decided that's his new nickname.  It's a movie and sums up how I feel about him these days.  This post is already long, so I'm tackling this one in it's own post tomorrow.  I have lots to say.