When I signed up for this project, I was a little bit nervous. OK, I was a lot nervous. I wasn't sure who I'd be paired with, but I had a feeling chances were it was going to be an AP or first parent. But I do feel strongly that these things need to include adoptee voices, so I was going to take one for the team. Um, yeah, didn't happen that way. I was paired up with a kick ass adoptive mom over at Unofficial Mom. I've had fun emailing back and forth with Sara the past week or so. We discovered we had a ton in common, both being from the same area, working in a similar field, and other similarities.Sara and her husband have an interesting adoption story. They couldn't have babies the old fashioned way and adopted Pie (possibly one of the cutest kids ever) privately. There story starts like this: "My husband went into a Chipotle for a burrito and came out with a baby."
So we had some fun interviewing each other. Here's my interview with Sara. Enjoy and check out her blog!
How'd you come up
with the nickname Pie?
She ended up Pie completely by chance. When we were in the hospital with
her, and my husband said, “She’s such a little love pie” and it stuck. So she’s
Pie, Love Pie, PiePie and about a million others. We even had a special plaque
made for her room and we talk about it each night before bed. She just started
saying Love Pie herself and it’s maybe the cutest thing ever.
The whole school,
work, mother thing sounds like it can be a bit demanding. What do you do for
YOU to relax and recharge?
Relax? What’s that? In all seriousness I don’t get to do a ton of that right now. If I happen to have a few minutes while I’m out of the house I’ll run into Target usually and wander around a bit (read buy something for Pie). And if I’m at home, I try to catch up on the ridiculous play list on my DVR. I used to read. All the time. I really miss it, but now when I pick up a book I’m asleep within a page or two.
Relax? What’s that? In all seriousness I don’t get to do a ton of that right now. If I happen to have a few minutes while I’m out of the house I’ll run into Target usually and wander around a bit (read buy something for Pie). And if I’m at home, I try to catch up on the ridiculous play list on my DVR. I used to read. All the time. I really miss it, but now when I pick up a book I’m asleep within a page or two.
If you could wipe the
slate blank and start over from scratch, what would your perfect open adoption
look like?
In all honesty I wouldn’t really change anything about my adoption. Since her birth, I think we’ve all been really good about contact. I send pictures and updates, we have visits. They spend the day with us on Pie’s birthday. And now that she’s older, I’ve started randomly sending coloring pages and crafts she does to her first parents. And they randomly have things they pick up for her too. Open adoption is such a fluid thing, and you really have to stay flexible to move with it as it changes. Now, that being said, I would change things about the pregnancy. I would have preferred the prenatal care be better, and obviously, that there was no drug use.
In all honesty I wouldn’t really change anything about my adoption. Since her birth, I think we’ve all been really good about contact. I send pictures and updates, we have visits. They spend the day with us on Pie’s birthday. And now that she’s older, I’ve started randomly sending coloring pages and crafts she does to her first parents. And they randomly have things they pick up for her too. Open adoption is such a fluid thing, and you really have to stay flexible to move with it as it changes. Now, that being said, I would change things about the pregnancy. I would have preferred the prenatal care be better, and obviously, that there was no drug use.
You mentioned that
you would like to adopt again. Should that happen, knowing what you know now,
would you rather participate in an open or closed adoption the second time
around?
Open all the way. I can’t imagine it being anything else. Granted we knew Pie’s first parents before the pregnancy, much less the adoption, so that one is always going to be a little different. But I truly can’t imagine a child not having access to his/her biological information. Before I learned about open adoption, I worried about it being confusing for the child to have two sets of parents present, or the first parents wanting to take over or any other number of crazy things. But I think if anything nutty happens, the things a child gets from an open adoption far outweigh any bumps in the road that the adults may encounter.
Open all the way. I can’t imagine it being anything else. Granted we knew Pie’s first parents before the pregnancy, much less the adoption, so that one is always going to be a little different. But I truly can’t imagine a child not having access to his/her biological information. Before I learned about open adoption, I worried about it being confusing for the child to have two sets of parents present, or the first parents wanting to take over or any other number of crazy things. But I think if anything nutty happens, the things a child gets from an open adoption far outweigh any bumps in the road that the adults may encounter.
What's your favorite
food in the whole world? If you could eat it everyday, would you?
Pizza. And I do eat it far more than I should. I’m a bit of a weirdo here though, because my favorite pizza is the frozen Tombstone kind. There are a handful of other, fancier pizzas I love, but I don’t have all that often. But throw a good old Tombstone in the oven and I’m a happy girl.
Pizza. And I do eat it far more than I should. I’m a bit of a weirdo here though, because my favorite pizza is the frozen Tombstone kind. There are a handful of other, fancier pizzas I love, but I don’t have all that often. But throw a good old Tombstone in the oven and I’m a happy girl.
What motivated you to
start blogging? What's kept you motivated to stick with it?
I started blogging as a way to process the adoption. I think it’s really hard to fully grieve infertility, and the loss of the family you thought you would have. I’m still not sure I really have. And I don’t know anyone who has been involved with an open adoption. There are other adoptions in my family, but they are international and totally closed because of it. I guess I thought I could put all my ramblings out into space and it would make me feel better. I never in a million years thought I would gain the information, support, and friends that I have through this process. I’m in awe everyday of the people who share their lives with me, and want to share mine. And that’s the reason I continue. I don’t think I’ll ever stop learning about adoption, and having such an amazing network of people to teach me is invaluable.
I started blogging as a way to process the adoption. I think it’s really hard to fully grieve infertility, and the loss of the family you thought you would have. I’m still not sure I really have. And I don’t know anyone who has been involved with an open adoption. There are other adoptions in my family, but they are international and totally closed because of it. I guess I thought I could put all my ramblings out into space and it would make me feel better. I never in a million years thought I would gain the information, support, and friends that I have through this process. I’m in awe everyday of the people who share their lives with me, and want to share mine. And that’s the reason I continue. I don’t think I’ll ever stop learning about adoption, and having such an amazing network of people to teach me is invaluable.
We have the same
camera... What's your favorite picture that you've taken with it?
It’s a copout I know, but anything with Pie in it. If you were twisting my arm I’d have to say this one is near the top. It’s a perfect capture of a completely ordinary day. Pie is a water baby through and through, she would spend every waking moment in water if she could. So the summer is pool time, pool time and more pool time. This was just a quick shot after she had worn herself out in the pool…her chunky cheeks, the water droplets, her gorgeous eyes…it all just makes me smile.
It’s a copout I know, but anything with Pie in it. If you were twisting my arm I’d have to say this one is near the top. It’s a perfect capture of a completely ordinary day. Pie is a water baby through and through, she would spend every waking moment in water if she could. So the summer is pool time, pool time and more pool time. This was just a quick shot after she had worn herself out in the pool…her chunky cheeks, the water droplets, her gorgeous eyes…it all just makes me smile.
If you could give
your daughter only one piece of advice for the rest of her life, what would it
be?
This one is so hard! But I think it would be something along the lines of the fact that she is amazing and special and anyone who doesn’t treat her accordingly isn’t worth her time.
This one is so hard! But I think it would be something along the lines of the fact that she is amazing and special and anyone who doesn’t treat her accordingly isn’t worth her time.
What's the biggest
thing you've learned from another blogger?
I think the best thing I’ve learned is that it’s okay to not always know
what you’re doing in regards to adoption. You do your best and you ask for help
or advice when you need it.
What's something that
you've learned from this Interview Project?
Another good one. I think this Interview Project has reminded me how much I can gain from getting to know people in different adoption roles. Being able to have the insight into other perspectives is amazing. And I learned that you are one cool chick J
Another good one. I think this Interview Project has reminded me how much I can gain from getting to know people in different adoption roles. Being able to have the insight into other perspectives is amazing. And I learned that you are one cool chick J
Great job Jenn
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