Telling Extended Family

I'm starting to think about telling my extended family about my reunion, once again.  I've started to tell more and more people, but it's challenging.  My mom is one of eight siblings and my dad is one of four.  I have 29 first-cousins all together.  Here's where it gets even crazier.  My grandparents were/are best friends.  My grandmothers talk at least once a week on the phone and see each other as often as possible.  The four of them used to take trips together.  Their children are close.  My mom was friends with my dad's brother before she met my dad.  We all vacation together, and my mom's family is included in my dad's family functions and vice versa.  So when one side knows something, the other side finds out fast.

There are limited secrets in our family.  Nobody can keep their mouth shut.  If someone does something that is worthy of being shared, they all know within a few days.  And that's being conservative.  I once got three phone calls an hour after hanging up from one aunt because I had failed to call them with good news too (when I got my job as a RA).  It's very hard to keep anything quiet.  It's not impossible and I've recently been clued in to some major family drama (kept a secret from the majority of our family for three months).  Three months isn't that long though...

When it comes down to it, I would rather tell people myself.  I have some relatives who I know would take things very well.  I have other relatives who I don't think would be so understanding.  There's a cult like mentality sometimes, and I've seen what happens when someone wants out of the cult.  It's not that I want out, that's not what I want at all.  It's just that I know that some of them may see me as wanting out.  And it's perception that matters, reality is nothing.  My fear is that if I tell one of the understanding ones and they call a not so understanding relative to share juicy family drama, then I might not get to explain myself the way I want to.  And then who knows what might happen?

With so much going on, it's been hard.  I need my family's support now more than ever, but it's hard to bring up.  How does one tell a big group of people that they aren't enough?  I needed to find my natural family, it really wasn't an option for me not too.  I am thrilled to get to know them.  I'm happier than I've ever been.  But at the same time, I just feel like my adoptive family may not see it that way.  However, the longer I wait, the harder it's going to be.  I do feel like they need to know.  SinginInTheRain is becoming a part of my life in a way I never thought possible before.  Someday I hope to include my sisters in my family.  I don't want them to think I'm ashamed of them or that they aren't worth it to me.

I'm hoping for a few openings in a few weeks.  We have a bunch of family functions coming up (three in one weekend!) so I'm going to have lots of time to talk to people.  I'm hoping that I have the opportunity to get to them one on one.  I'm going to start at Easter I think.  I'm going to start talking to different realitves (the ones I think will "get it" or at least try to) and have them on my side at larger functions.  That way, if there is backlash, they will hopefully have my back.  They will be able to disfuse the situation.  They can act really happy about things and make the rest of them feel guilty about it.  That's the plan anyway.  Maybe just once the plan will actually work.

My mom thinks I'm being silly about this.  She thinks I'm underestimating my family.  She thinks I'm overreacting.  Maybe I am.  You only have one chance to make a first impression though, and I only have one shot at this.  Things could be different for me forever after this.  We'll see...