Photographs

After the first few emails with NeverTooLate, I decided to send her a photo of myself. I had already found her Facebook page, along with SinginInTheRain’s, KungFuPanda’s, and Sandlot’s so I had an idea of what they looked like (even if they were small and kind of bad pictures) but she had no idea what I looked like. I had just gotten back from my spring break and purposely took a few good pictures of me all tanned and dressed up so I’d have something to send her. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react, but I had read a few posts online from natural mothers who said they loved the pictures.

She was so happy to get them, probably because we look a lot alike. She sent me back a few of her own. She told me that she felt funny about sending them but that I should know who I looked like. We started sending pictures back and forth with almost every email. I sent her pictures of myself as a little kid, pictures of me playing dress up, pictures of me at graduation, pictures of me with my family etc. She sent me pictures back from family holidays, family vacations, and pictures of the girls with their grandparents.

I both loved and hated these photos. While it was great to finally see what these people who I am so connected to look like, it killed me that I wasn’t in those pictures as well. They have a wall of photos somewhere in their house and they take pictures in front of it a lot, so sometimes I get bonus photos as I like to think of them. One of these “bonus” photos was a picture of NeverTooLate’s family including her parents, and her brother with his wife. They were all there together and the only person who was missing was me.

SinginInTheRain emails me from his phone (he hates going on the computer) so I haven’t been sent any photo’s lately. Facebook shows me changing profile pictures so I’ve seen more recent ones. Maybe someday I’ll have a few pictures with them too. Maybe…