Mad at the Health System

I'm annoyed.  Like seriously annoyed.  I need a good old vent, and I'm going to do so publicly because sometimes that's the best way to handle things.

So in the non-adoption world, I've been dealing with my mother's failing health.  It's not fun, but I feel like it's something I have to do.  Not because I'm adopted, not because my mother "saved" me, not because I'm "grateful", but because she is my mother, I love her, and she needs me.  My mother was always the mother who was the first to rush to my defense, to pick me up when I feel down, and to put my needs before her own. She was just that kind of mother.  Now that she's the one who needs a hand, I want to be there for her.  It's a mother daughter thing.  Just wanted to throw that one out there.

Anyway, my world has quickly become all about health related stuff.  I know more about cancer now than I ever wanted to know.  I also know a lot about how our brains work.  As an FYI, you're brain is SUPER important.  And if just one little thing is off, you could be dealing with A LOT of consequences.  End of my PSA for today...

So we had a set back last week.  It wasn't fun to deal with, but we were overly cautious because we weren't before and bad things happened.  The doctor said to come into the ER, so we did.  And then they couldn't figure out what was going on.  Which lead to her doctor finally explaining that this is probably just a side effect of the radiation and we have to wait it out.

Excuse me?  She ended radiation ten weeks ago.  Why is this side effect hitting now?  Turns out that this can happen to patients six weeks to six months out of radiation.  Um, ok.  So why weren't we told this could happen?  This frustrates me to no end.  I am not an oncologist.  I'm not a nurse.  My mom is the nurse in the family and she can't remember her own birthday let alone advocate for herself (Note: most hospitals use a person's name and birth date to ensure they have the right person.  Before my mom has her blood drawn, she needs to tell the tech her name and birthday... Problem, she doesn't remember those things!  Yikes!).

Moving along...  As her family, it's really hard to see my mom struggle the way she is struggling.  So when you can give us some information and let us know to be on the lookout for some strange symptoms that could hit anywhere from six weeks to six months post-treatment, we probably wouldn't flip out the way we did.  The last time my mother was acting this way she nearly died.  I will never forget the panic in her nurses voice when they sent my mom to pre-op instead of right to the OR, which is what she needed.  I thought I was never going to see her alive again.  So excuse me if I want to know what to expect, even if not all patients exhibit that behavior.

I know that she has some amazing doctors.  They really are some of the best.  And I know they are doing their best for her. She's been a mystery from day one.  She doesn't react to things normally.  She had four brain surgeries in three weeks, when she should have only needed one.  So I get that this is a challenge.  But I'm still annoyed.  I think as her daughter, I should be annoyed.  And I'll get over it.  But I needed to get it out there.

And as a side rant, if you are at the hospital with my mother and I am at work, please don't blow me off all day.  I shouldn't have to wait until 3:30 (and call the hospital myself and get directed to my mother's room) before someone tells me what is going on.  I don't care if there isn't any new information.  I still want to know that things are ok.  I don't think that's a lot to ask.  I think that as her daughter that was in the ER with my mother the night before, I should be able to know what's going on.  It's common sense that I would want an update.  And turning your phone off so you don't have to talk to anyone is a crappy thing to do.  At least check your messages.  I left three.

End rant.  Back to your regularly scheduled program tomorrow.