Birthday Disappointment

I love cake...

I've held off writing this post because I didn't want to jinx anything.  I didn't post it, and then things changed anyway.  So as par for the course, I got disappointed again.  Not so much fun.

The last two times I've meet up with SinginInTheRain, we've had a few issues.  The first time, his car broke down.  Then he had something at KungFuPanda's school.  And I can't forget the snow storms that we had to deal with.  So ultimately, our visit got pushed back nearly a month.  Frustrating?  Yes.  Unavoidable?  No.  The next time things were pushed back because of me.  We picked a date and I was all set, but my sister bailed on watching my mom so I could "go out" for the afternoon.  My mom ended up in the hospital the next week so we met up that week instead.

So I'm used to our plans changing.  I asked him to meet up again, and he suggested my birthday.  He thought it would be nice to see me on my birthday.  I was all for it and got really excited about it.  I keep telling myself not to get excited because things kept changing before, but I did anyway because I'm a masochist.  Go figure.  Anyway, sure enough, he's having car troubles again.  One of the cars is going to be in the shop and my first mother needs the one working car for the day, I'm guessing to pick the kids up from school which if he's hanging out with me an hour away wouldn't be possible.  There's a chance the car will be fixed, but I'm not optimistic.  And it doesn't even matter because I would have needed to tell my boss by yesterday if I wanted to get the day off (we have to notify two weeks before we take a vacation day).  I mean, maybe if things changed within the next few days it wouldn't be a big deal... but still.  Probably not going to happen.

My birthday is now even more officially going to suck.  Worse than normal suckage.  Like worst birthday ever suckage.  And lets not forget my 18th birthday when my friends forgot, my 21st birthday when I couldn't even drink and nobody threw me a party, or my birthday last year when I was ignored by my first mother and my first father had no clue it was even my birthday.  This year is going to take the cake (no pun intended).  Here's why :

1. My adoptive mom makes a huge deal out of birthdays.  She isn't going to remember my birthday this year.  I know this because she has a HUGE problem with dates and time.  She doesn't know what year it is, or what day of the week, even if you try to tell her and explain it to her.  She can't even tell you her own birthday if you give her hints.  So even though she always made a HUGE deal about my birthday (balloons, big birthday dinners, notes in my lunch, random voicemails throughout the day, signs hung out outside of my room, etc) she won't be able to do that this year.  Oh well...
2. My first mother won't acknowledge the day.  I had high hopes for last year because for the first time, she had a way to wish me happy birthday.  Yes, things were really weird.  Yes, she was not happy with me.  But never the less, I would have thought a simple "Happy Birthday" email would have been in my inbox.  But I got nothing.  So even though things are slightly better this year, I don't think I'm going to get an acknowledgement.  So happy happy joy joy.
3. My adoptive father won't make up for my mom not remembering.  He's just not that kind of guy.  He'll get me a gift from my parents and from my sister (I haven't gotten anything from her other than a lame card for the past two years) but that's about it.  My mom is his main focus and pretty much the only thing he focuses on these days.  Which is fine, don't want to sound like a selfish brat.  But at times it gets a bit much when clearly we aren't doing all that well with things either.
4. Rudy is three hours away.  And he will be for my birthday.  It's the first birthday in five years that I won't be spending with him.  I'm going to go eat a tub of ice cream now... Oh wait, I can't eat ice cream.  I guess that means I'm eating any chocolate I can get my hands on...
5. I was excited to get to see my first father for my birthday.  Like so excited.  It would have made up for all the other items on this list.  Now, I'm just going to sit around at work on my birthday (because I was going to take the day off to see SinginInTheRain) and think about how things were supposed to be different.  Not so much fun.

Can it just not be my birthday this year?  I'd really really like that.  If that can happen, then I've got two weeks to figure out a way to disappear on that day.  Time to get creative!