Thankful

I'm feeling very thankful today.  I'm so lucky in life and I'm starting to realize just how lucky lately.  I have a number of things going for me and I'm so happy to be in this place.  Of course things could be better but things are good enough right now and they could be so much worse.

First, I'm thankful for knowing the basics of where I come from.  Two years ago I didn't.  I had no clue and I was floating around in the fog.  I've been so blessed to know my first parents' names, to have gotten to know NeverTooLate on some level, and to have a wonderful relationship with SinginInTheRain.  I have two sisters and I know that they are out there.  That's more than I could say two years ago.  I feel like I know who I am now, where I come from.  I have gained another father figure, and I've gained an understanding of where some of my personality comes from.

Next, I'm thankful for the friends I have made online through this adoption community.  I remember stumbling across Linda's Blog Real Daughter and that was my introduction to the online community and started to slowly come out of the fog.  I started to realize that some of my issues that never made sense before actually came from adoption.  Things started to click and fall into place for me.

I'm thankful for having my words.  I have the ability to write about what I'm thinking.  I've been watching my mother struggle to come up with words (a side effect of the tumor in her brain) and it's so frustrating for her.  She knows what she wants to say but does not have the ability to communicate it.  I can't imagine being stuck in my own brain.  I'm so thankful that I can tell the world what I'm thinking and I can come up with words.  I think that people take that for granted sometimes.  I know I do.  So I'm thankful for something that a rare few are denied.

Finally, I'm thankful for knowing mostly healthy people.  Yes, my mother is sick, but as bad as that is, I saw the most heartbreaking sight the other day at the hospital.  While we were waiting for my mom's appointment, there was a five year old girl with her father waiting for her last treatment before surgery.  She was all dressed in pink and had tubes coming out of her.  She told the nurse that it was her seven year old brother's birthday the next day and that they were having a fundraiser for her the following week.  It was heartbreaking.  I nearly started crying right there thinking about what that poor innocent girl and her family must be going through.  I can handle my mother being sick, but I don't think I'd be able to handle having a child with a deadly disease and trying to keep a family going.

I'm thankful for a lot of things.  I'm thankful for life, I'm thankful for health, and I'm thankful to have the chance to blog another day...