Truth Challenge: Day 22

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I wish I didn’t spend most of my high school days obsessing over boys. I spent a good chunk of my high school years in love with one boy or another, and this boy was always the kind of guy who didn’t know my name. Finally I started obsessing over a boy who did know my name (baby steps) but at that point I was a bit desperate. I wasted so much energy and time; looking back on it I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Then again, that would mean facing all the crap that happened and I don’t think I’d survive another time around.

My poor friends had to deal with me analyzing every conversation, every look, and every interaction. This boy senior year didn’t say much (I like the quiet types) but we would go over every word he said trying to figure out what he meant by everything. Then again, I did the same with them. Maybe that’s why I’m not really friends with the people I hung out with in high school anymore. Something to ponder.

Anyway, nothing good ever came from obsessing over boys. I found a great guy when I stopped looking, stopped obsessing, and stopped trying so hard. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t waste college the way I felt I wasted high school and that I would wait and start dating after I was at least a sophomore. I stopped looking and met my perfect guy the first week of school. But I had made that promise so I didn’t obsess, I didn’t analyze, and I didn’t pursue. I just had fun hanging out with him. And he asked me out a week later. I wasn’t going to turn down a good thing when I saw it!

We can’t go back and change things but I’ve learned not to waste energy and time on things that are out of my control and that in the end probably won’t matter. I’ve learned to focus on things that are in my control and to sit back as much as I can and let things happen. It’s worked for me so far and hopefully will happen in the future!