Truth Challenge: Day 16

Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.

It took me a while to figure out what I was going to write about for this truth. There are a lot of things that make my life complicated and there are things that at the time I wish I didn’t have to deal with, but usually when I look back I realize that I learned something and that I have to get through all of the bad stuff in order to be the person that I am today.

With that being said, I could definitely live without all of the judgments that people have put on me. I could live without the pity. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain. I haven’t been “out of the fog” for very long. I’m a newbie when it comes to this stuff, but I’m a fast learner. I’ve been reading and posting comments on other blogs and I’ve joined a few online communities. I’ve started to notice some things and the things I’ve noticed have been backed up by people who have been blogging and speaking out against closed records for longer than me.

I’ve noticed that whenever I speak about opening records or make a comment that someone sounds a bit naive (and lots of people are), I get comments back. Most of those comments are from non-adoptees, civilians as I’ve heard them called before, saying that I should be grateful for my life. Sometimes other adoptees claim in and say that they are happy about their life and that they pity me for having a bad experience. This is so frustrated because I did not have a bad experience. I have a great family, a wonderful family, and I’m getting to know my natural father like I never could have dreamed possible. This is my life and I love it. It’s not always easy but life isn’t supposed to be easy.

I don’t presume to speak for all adoptees. I think it’s great that some people are so happy about their situations. Good for you! I used to be one of those people. I’m not speaking for you, I’m speaking for me. I have a voice, an opinion, and I want to share that. Some adoptees still feel the need to attack. However it makes me think that there’s some serious denial there if you feel like you have to attack me. Can’t we just agree to disagree? I respect people who recognize that not everyone is in love with the fact that not everyone has a good experience but still would have preferred to be adopted. These are people who see both sides and make an educated decision. I love those people. It’s all about the educated decisions.

To wrap this post up, I could live without the judgments and the pity that come with speaking about an issue that affects me the way it does. People don’t have to agree with me, but I wish they would respect me enough to hear what I’m saying and agree to disagree.