Phone Conversation Part 2

I was on cloud nine for the rest of the day. Then I went to bed early after my busy day and sat up in panic mode. If I was this happy, how bad would the low be? What if he changed his mind about talking to me, like NeverTooLate did? Would I be able to handle it the second time around? And what if he didn’t like talking to me as much as I liked talking to him? Needless to say, I didn’t sleep much that night. I was afraid of what would happen and wasn’t sure how to continue. Did we still email each other now that we had talked? I decided to send him an email.

It was very short for me (I tend to write a lot in case you haven’t noticed at this point) and basically told him that I was very happy we had talked and I felt I hadn’t thanked him enough for talking to me. I also told him that I didn’t want him to feel pressured into talking to me and that if he wanted to back out, I was ok with that and was used to taking steps backward. I got a response right away. He told me that it had meant as much to him as it did to me and that he would continue to call. He said he was afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and taking those backward steps. I think I read that email seven times before it sank in that I was overreacting yet again.

For two months, we talked every week at the same time.  Now we talk when we can.  We chat, talk about our pasts, get to know each other, and most of all, we laugh together.  Some conversations are better than others.  Some days I hang up feeling like I missed out on an opportunity to tell him how I really feel.  Other days I hang out happy and excited.  We don’t discuss SinginInTheRain, rarely talk about my sisters, and don’t discuss my adoption anymore.  I think it’s just easier that way for now.  I know that’s going to change at some point, but it’s what I have to work with for now.