Adoption-Ed 101: PAL vs HAL

There are several different ways of talking about adoption.  There are different sets of terminology and often words can be very triggering to different groups of people.  When speaking about adoption, certain terms can be offensive to different groups.  Often the same word can be preferred by one group and rejected by another.  There are two different types of language that I will outline here along with some of the arguments that I have heard regarding use of language.  Although I'm not a fan of siting Wikipedia, I think they have a pretty good article describing the difference (at least at the time of this posting): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_adoption.

For starters, we need to begin with the idea is that there are several ways to form a family.  They can be formed by blood, by law, by social culture, or by love.  There are people may only accept families formed by blood and they may use language like "real" and "adopted" meaning that adopted people are not real parts of a family or that adoptive parents are not real parents.  I would hope if you are reading this blog you would know that that's just not true.

PAL/RAL is Positive/Respectful Adoption Language.  Here's a site that has a pretty good explanation of it: http://www.perspectivespress.com/pjpal.html.  PAL/RAL assumes that it does not make a different how a family was formed, and that language needs to adjust to assume that it does not matter if a child was adopted or not.  Use of "Mary was adopted" (one time event regarding how the family was formed) vs "Mary is adopted" (describing a state of a person; not a one time event) is a prime example of PAL.  PAL/RAL calls the first parents "birthparents" because they gave birth to the child (provided the DNA) but after that event they are no longer a part of the child's life.  Terms like "real parents" are avoided because it invalidates adoptive parents.  Birthparents make an adoption plan, and choose adoption for their children.  They do not choose to keep their baby, because their baby is not a possession.  Children are placed in new homes.  This language is used to paint adoption in the most positive light possible.

HAL is Honest Adoption Language.  This is a different system of terms that tries to respect all parties in the adoption triad.  It is a way for people who feel that PAL/RAL is not respectful enough toward everyone.  HAL assumes that adoption is a lifelong experience that cannot be limited to one single event.  HAL assumes that adoptees will always be a part of their first or natural family and that adoptees will always have two sets of parents.  The parents who give birth (provide the DNA) are called "natural parents" or "first parents".  They are parents who do not just give birth, but love their child.  As another point, fathers cannot give birth and therefore should never be labeled birthfathers.  What is also overlooked is that when using HAL, adoptees are called "adopted people" rather than "adopted children" and are therefore seen as adults when they turn 18.  Use of HAL acknowledges that there is pain associated with adoption and that it is not a one time event.  This language also reflects original terminology.

Now that we have a basic idea about what the different language is, we can move forward to discuss why it matters.  Yay for tomorrow's post!