New Orleans

The semester came to a close and I went home for winter break. I figured that going home would give me perspective. It didn’t. Instead, I got more confused because I felt like having these feelings and thoughts was a bad thing. I felt like I was betraying my family, and that I should be more grateful to them.

After the holidays I packed my bags and went back to school early to travel to New Orleans to help rebuild. I had gone the year before but this was going to be a different because different people had planned it. It was freezing; we gutted a house, and had a lot of time for reflection. January 7th, the day my parents brought me home, rolled around, and this year it meant more to me. I was really upset to be so far away from my family on the day that I needed them most.

On this trip we would play “Rose, Thorn, and Bud” which is where you tell one good thing that happened to you, one thing you didn’t like that had happened to you that day, and something you were looking forward to. My thorn was that I was away from my family, but that I was getting to have this amazing experience with all of the people I was with. Everyone was really supportive, and they showed me that it was ok. It was an ok thing to talk about. And they also showed me that I wouldn’t be judged. I came back from that trip a new person. It put things into perspective. I knew that I couldn’t run away from my issues anymore and the best way to deal with things was to do something about my life. I knew that I couldn’t really move forward until I understood the past.

It took me another month to figure things out, but I finally paid the $15 thinking it would give me a starting point.  I should also mention here that I did a lot of research about adoption and reunion.  I read a few books.  I scoured the blogs.  I started a journal.  And I finally took that leap.  How many people were named NeverTooLate who were born on her birthday could there be? I also knew that she was born in Massachusetts, so that was another clue. I ended those three pieces of information into the search and went to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I had the report.